Earth
Mother Enterprises |
The American values that comprise the gems in the diadem of the American dream must be set and polished in the American home. Otherwise, our citizenry will not qualify to inherit the visions of our forefathers and foremothers.
I am going to highlight the ideals, not the patterns of behavior that have brought shame to our country, such as shallow sexuality, easy abortion, child abuse, intolerance of difference, adult violence, sensationalism, greedy commercialism, and polarized political combativeness.
"Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness," is the best known phrase that sums up our values. Another is these words from our matriarch, the Statue of Liberty: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these the homeless, tempest-tost to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door."
For me, the phrase, "Live and let live" adequately evokes the faithful, progressive, charitable, humanistic, altruistic, and hopeful spirit of the best of America. First, let live in the basic bodily sense that eschews abortion, capital punishment, and euthanasia. Second, let the spirit live in individuality, expressiveness, inquiry, variety, and curiosity. Third, let live by proffering a helping hand to those who are struggling for life.
From the beginning, a new child must be given the message that his or her aliveness is celebrated -- during gestation, birth, breast-feeding, and in all the immediately responsive care needed in infancy. As the child grows and expresses inconvenient curiosity and individuality, discipline should be congruent with a continuing celebration of the specific, unique personality of this child and his or her journey through the human stages of development.
At the same time, this naturally self-centered child will be gradually weaned from narcissism to altruism and empathy. Every chance to highlight the importance of kindness and helpfulness should be seized. Do not take such gestures by a child for granted, rather consistently recognize them. Foster a sense of identity in your children that incorporates commitment to others as much as to self.
Teach the skills of listening, not jumping to conclusions. Teach the history of the struggle for equal rights as something precious our country has won dearly and only partially. Interrupt feelings of superiority or inferiority. Emphasize the many different kinds of gifts people can bring to their community.
Just as in the Olympics a torch is passed from one runner to another, let your progeny know that a torch will be passed to them and that they are in training to receive it. Whenever political scandal or other negativity threatens to break your children's faith and tempt them toward cynicism and despair, remind them of the many heroes who have built the proud parts of our heritage. Let them know that these warriors had to fight against other forces, that goodness is not always popular.
Let the images of heroes accompany your children as they weather the pushes and pulls of peers. Let them acquire the courage to pull away from trendy pressures. Companions from history can carry them over periods of aloneness.
In marital arguments take care to argue fairly, not polarizing the disagreement. Teach the willingness to agree to disagree. Let your children know that differentness is no sign of wrongness. Teach that the greatest commandment is to love, and that commandment stands regardless of the behavior of the person loved. Urge your children to prepare to protect potential victims from harm, but to otherwise allow people to take chances and to experiment on their paths to self discovery.
Remind your children that their religious beliefs cannot be forced onto others in a free society, but that anything that breaks the rule of "live and let live" is an undermining of a free and just society. Whether or not their religion has such a rule, as citizens they are obligated to fight for this overarching guide to justice within and outside the family.